Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Please....i beg you. Don't hire my past

We all know that one sure way to get over your past is to stay away from your past.

Am I right?


today, I had the fear that my past was going to show up at the only place I have peace. 

There is a place I go every day and I'm able to get away.  I'm able to put the past behind me.  I'm able to breathe.  It's just me.  I don't have to deal with life's issues.  I don't have to be reminded of my failures.  I don't have to think about where I've been...where I'm going.

It's my office.

For five days a week.  Eight hours a day, I'm able to escape life.

Most people dread work.  I don't.  I love my job.  I love my boss (es).  Though there are times I could just walk out and never look just takes me a few seconds to realize how lucky I am.  I would not trade my job for any other.   I would not trade my boss for any other. 

but today....... in the early morning hours, my day was ruined.

I got word that my ex husband was being escorted around the facilities.  This (to me) could only mean that he was being considered for a job......  This (to me) meant the end of my peaceful little world I had come to know and love so well.

How dare he.
how dare he invade MY space.
How dare he make his way in to MY world.
how dare he steal my peace of mind.

Unless you know him, you can't possibly know or understand my concerns.  I could never work in peace again.  E.V.E.R.

this was just another reminder of how I don't need to be in this town. 
I can't escape.....I can't escape the people.
and I want to.
so bad

Too many mistakes.
Ok...too many exes....
Too many memories.
it's not my town.
It's their town.

there is always going to be someone....something....that won't let me be.

Finally, at the end of the day,
I found peaceful little sanctuary remains just that.....MY SANCTUARY.......and I can breathe again.

Thank you Lord.

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